I Know I Cheated, But I Still Love You

Before you begin, please read it in its entirety for it to make sense. Enjoy

I'm sure many of us have been in situations where we have been cheated on, or have cheated on someone else. I know I have. I used to be one of those statistically viewed guys that tries to date a bunch of females at one time. I would do it to boost my esteem, and/or to look cool with my friends. It was always a game with me; Get to know a cute girl, brag about it, and repeat. You ask "Why do men do that," right? Well, many guys do it because they care more about pleasing themselves and being accepted by their friends, than actually taking into consideration of a woman feelings. Sad, I know.

By me once being a cheater, I learned that cheating on someone didn't always stem from a love issue. It grows from a lust issue. To be honest, many women are married to guys in their mind, because they bought the dreams that guys sold. This causes them to give guys the benefit of a marriage without the commitment or responsibility. So by doing marriage things without the marriage, there's no motivation to get married. This is why the relationship is built around a lustful foundation. And with lust being the motivator, lust will also be the separator. But often, women get blinded by muscles without strength, and words without action. So this paralysis of vision, causes the view about a relationships to be distorted.


What many people don't understand is that when people cheat, it always stem from the perversion of the mind, not just the actions of the body. It's spiritual. Shoot, sex is spiritual. And if we don't have the Spirit of God, then we won't have the power to overcome lust or the have conviction that brings about true repentance (REAL change). See, man can only change the actions, but God is what changes the nature. This is where you get the "once a cheater always a cheater" from. Because man (and woman) in our own power can only change our ways for a moment, but we will always revert back to guiltless lifestyle practices. People are so used to other people doing them wrong, then telling them that they're going to do right this time; but continuing to do wrong. Because man can only change the actions (flesh), and God changes the nature (spirit).

You ask someone, "What is cheating to you"? Their first thought is usually sexual. But in actuality, cheating on someone can be done physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. I remember a co-worker came to me crying, telling me that her boyfriend cheated on her and she didn't know what to do. But I also remembered a while before that, she told me that they went to the strip club pretty often together. So when her tears dried up, I explained to her how they had been setting each other up to cheat the whole time. Because what you feed is what becomes strong. So in application, it doesn't have to be to the extent of the strip club, but if you're comfortable enjoying sexually explicit movies and music with/without them, it's almost the same as going to the strip club! You're feeding the beast (flesh), and the beast will overtake you like the hulk. But the beast won't just come out when you're mad (argument), but the beast will come out when you feel alone (lonely or desperate) or even when you don't know who you are (identity crisis).

So, how can you say you love me, but you cheat on me?

Well, what if God asked us this question? What if God asked us, "How can you say you love me, but you continue to have sex and you're not married? You're cheating on me." "How can you say you love me, but you continue to indulge in music and movies that promotes the very things that I died for? You're cheating on me." Or if He asked, "How can you say you love me, but you dress for people to lust after you? You're cheating on me." Would we still make a petition of how we love God? We all fall into some category disrespecting and dishonoring God at some point. But is it a love issue, or a lust issue? Many of us get blinded by emotional feelings, and it distorts our forgiveness through love. But please understand what I'm saying in the right context. I'm not saying to give a person a "cheating pass". I'm saying give a person a "forgiveness pass". And even in this "forgiveness pass," if its a little too much for you and it leads to a relationship ending, than so be it (unmarried people). But if you're married, I say work it out, and allow the forgiveness that God gave/gives you, to motivate your forgiveness for your husband/wife.




GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH!
I do too,
Carlis Howze